superhero

You see the logo of Mozilla Firefox.
Hello and welcome to our humble town with a population of seven hundred thirty-nine. Formerly, this was a village, but, well, things happen. Shit happens. Three quarters of our population are made of the tourists who stay here. The rest, we’re the survivors of a calamity, we’re the only ones left. Not a lot of people leave after staying here, you see. We’re the true citizens of this town, this town which used to be a village, and we are your slaves.
You see the logo of Cartoon Network.
What’s that? No. No, you aren’t seeing a small jet plane, or a kite, or a blimp. That noise isn’t an engine noise. It’s either a laugh or a cry. We can’t tell, really. It’s a superhero, but it’s not even the shooting of the latest superhero film, since he killed, murdered, some say, he killed the whole superhero genre. You’re seeing our local superhero. Not that local though, because sometimes he also goes to the city to meet his sponsors.
You see the logo of Esprit.
What are you saying that we’re lucky to have a hero?
You see the Coca-Cola lettering.
He used to have a logo that looked like a pawn outlined in black. It was a white chess piece with a circle for a head, and below that, there was the body looked like a Florence flask, long and narrow at the neck, wide at the body, flat at the butt. He used to have a logo, and then he gave that logo up.
You see the logo of Adidas.
It took quite a time for the people to get used to that. Before, when he was still starting out, trouble would strike and the police would flash a signal in the sky that looked like a silhouette of his logo. When he gave his logo up, it took quite a while for him to respond.
You see the logo of Nike.
The people used to shout different names. They used to shout “PAWN!” or “SAVIOR!” and he’d be there. The name never mattered for him before. Now, people don’t know what to call him anymore.
You see the logo of Lacoste.
He used to look so clean. He had a grey leather hood on his head, a grey domino mask on his face, and a white leather suit, grey leather gloves and grey leather boots. No capes, because he used to have one and it tripped him up. At least that’s what he said. On his chest, the logo. A white pawn outlined in black. He used to look so clean, he still wears that outfit, sure, but now, he looks like he’s made of worn-out leather seats full of stickers.
You see the logo of Gatorade.
You see the logo of McDonald’s.
You see the logo of Johnny Walker.
You see the logo of almost everything. You see different logos except his own. Banks and restaurants and clothing lines and electronics companies. On his body, there’s Sony and Ferrari and Puma and Tommy Hilfiger. On his back, Apple and Nintendo and Calvin Klein. There’s Tag Heuer on one glove, Motorola on the other. One of his leather boots looks like a street artist played with it, courtesy of Marc Ecko’s Unlimited Footwear, while under the other boot, you see the logo of Diesel. On his mask, there’s Lee and Pik-Nik. On his hood, there’s Valve and Nickelodeon and MTV. There’s now more of his costume and less of him as a hero. We can’t even call him a hero anymore. He’s just a flying, punching, super billboard.
If ever you’re in trouble, let’s say there’s a mugger who’s pointing a knife at your neck, try calling for help. Try shouting “PAWN!” and he might come. That’s the name people gave him, after his logo, so when he gave the logo up, we were confused. we didn’t know what to call him, but in the end, we agreed on Pawn. Try shouting that when you’re in trouble. He might come. He just might come before the mugger sticks the knife in your neck and cuts off your jugular. He’ll come, to be sure, unless he’s in the city, signing contracts for his sponsors, promoting products, appearing in commercials. He’s got supersonic hearing. To be sure, he’ll hear you. What’s not sure is if he will come.
You see the logo for Kraft.
So what are you saying that we’re lucky to have a hero?
Well, sure, we used to be lucky. He appeared out of nowhere to save us when we needed it. It was a monster. You ever heard of that? The Ghost, they called him. That skinny man half Pawn’s height wearing black tights and a white mask with a Rorschach blot resembling a face. Heard of him? Pawn saved us from him. Maybe he killed him. Maybe Pawn killed The Ghost, I mean. Who knows? We were all out of the village, because that time this was still a village, we were all out of the village when that happened. We had to evacuate, because, well, they fought and it was such a big fight and it destroyed the place.
Doesn’t look much destroyed now, huh? Well, the first wave of tourist money helped us renovate, so sure, we welcomed tourists. Then we expanded the place into a town. Trouble is, they don’t stop coming anymore. You don’t stop coming and now we’re overrun and we’re now dependent on tourist money. The tourist money, that is to say, your money, and the Pawn. If we get rid of Pawn, if we stop the tourists from coming, our economy will fall.
You see the smiley.
Well, we asked Pawn to stay. That turned out to be our biggest mistake. Since he stayed here, this place has been overrun by tourists. Now our town’s getting poorer and poorer. Not really, but, well. Plus, we’ve been depending on his help to get us out of situations we could have gotten ourselves out of. Ever since he appeared, the Pawn, we’ve been crippled, especially when he began having those sponsors.
You see the logo for Atari.
You see the logo for IBM.
Well, I tell you, when he gave his logo up, people didn’t know who to trust anymore. People would shout his name and that’s all they can do. They can’t fight anymore. we can’t fight anymore. People would shout his name and he won’t come anymore. The Pawn, he’s killing us from inside.
Sure, we were lucky, we used to be lucky, but…well, what you’re saying, that we’re lucky to have a hero…
All we got is a prostitute.
You see the Playboy bunny.